Posted in college, Life

Finding My Voice

I remember being eight years old and having my writing teacher tell me that I was destined to be a writer. You really have a grasp on this whole writing essays thing, they said. Back in elementary school, writing was like math. There was a question and you had to answer it in a certain way. I guess this is why I excelled, because math had always been my best subject.

Why do you like going to school?

I get to see my friends. I get to learn new things. I get to go to recess. Check.

In middle school, I started learning the ins and outs of proper grammar. I loved it because it made sense. While others struggled to figure out the meaning of a prepositional phrase, I internalized each meaning and incorporated it into my writing. Middle school was also a time where I became more experimental and because of that my scores started to decline. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the robot they wanted me to be. I thought outside of the box and in order to keep my grades up I had to stay inside of it.

Give three reasons why schools should have vending machines:

School lunches are highkey gross. Sweet snacks will give everyone more energy to use at recess. Gives the school a chance to make money off of the kids. Check.

High school. A difficult time. Reading the books and writing the essays were easy. Somehow along the way, I became proficient enough in Spanish to also write full literature essays. Amazing, people said. Your writing is fantastic. But once again, I hated this system. I had slowly become what they had wanted and I wasn’t happy about it.

What is your opinion on George Orwell’s Animal Farm?

Lowkey didn’t read the whole book but y’know we watched the movie in class and I was a bit freaked out. So maybe I’ll just write my opinion on the movie instead. Check.

Now that I’m finishing college, I think that I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for all along. Your writing is a bit too structured. I’d love to see more of your own voice, they said. My voice. Finally someone who wants to hear my voice. This is fantastic. 

Write a ten page paper on the pros and cons of creativity.

Damn. Only ten pages? It’ll be hard but I gotchu professor. You’re gonna love this.

I love writing because it gives me a chance to put forth some of the thoughts I can’t quite put into words verbally. My mind sometimes feels like a cage, but when I let the words flow I’m put at ease. Growing up, teachers will often tell you that you must do things a certain way and while that might be okay for when you’re starting out, it hinders you a lot when you get to be a bit older.

Even now, my writing is not up to par to where I’d like it to be, but to be completely honest I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’d like to say that I’ve found my voice, but in reality it was never lost. It was just in hiding, waiting to come out when I gave it the okay.

Until next time,

Bianca

Hit me up on social media!

Twitter: @BiancaSaysJump_

Instagram: @bcousin13

Bloglovin’: BiancaSaysJump

 

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