Dear 16 year old Bianca,
This is your 20 year old self writing to give you words of advice about your future. You’re currently in your junior year of high school, taking six AP classes and wondering if all of your hard work will pay off. Don’t worry. It will. But first, you will go through some hardships along the way.
At one point during junior year, you will feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want to continue on anymore. You sink into a depression that you won’t tell anyone about…not even your best friend. At the end of junior year, Grandpa dies and things start to get even worse. You don’t cry for his death at all, and your family members begin to worry about you. You even start to lose weight from all of the overwork and lack of food.
Summer eventually arrives and you get to go to NYC to go see NYU and Columbia. You fall in love with everything about Columbia and then you begin to obsess with going there. When senior year rolls around, you’re much happier overall and excited about college admissions. You’re taking 7 AP classes this time around but you seem to deal with this much better than the year before.
When college decisions come around, you don’t get into Columbia but you do get into Cornell. Make sure to thank Tabitha for making you apply. If not, you would be stuck in Florida which is the last place you wanted to be.
For the first time in almost ten years, you will be separated from your best friend and it’s gonna hurt. A lot. You make promises to Skype each other and write letters often but the reality of it all is that you’re both busy people. But you don’t let this ruin your relationship. Your friendship is stronger than ever actually.
While in college, you make amazing friends and you all become one big family. You will struggle with finding the right career path but don’t worry. It will all work out in the end. College is also a time when you realize that not having a father affects you more than you ever realize. Then, you see that it only really affects you now because Grandpa was like your father this whole time. You finally cry for him but its good because you release a weight off of your shoulders that you’ve been carrying around for way too long.
My biggest advice for you is to continue to work hard. We both know that you have a lot of different interests so don’t be afraid to explore them. Work out as often as possible and try to become more comfortable with yourself. Stop lying to yourself. Don’t say everything will be okay when you need help from others. Trust yourself more because if you can’t trust yourself then who can you trust?
I love you. I realize I don’t tell myself that enough. So I’ll say it to my younger self so that we can start early.
Wishing you all the best,
20 year old Bianca.